Beer Review: Royal Rumble (Funk Brewing)
LEEEEEEEEEEETSSSSSSS GEEEEEEEEEEEEET READY TOOOOO RUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMBLE!!!!!!!
Ok, its that time of the year, when its one of the few WWE PPVs I check in for anymore (its basically this and WrestleMania). WrestleMania is a definite watch for me, but the Royal Rumble match(es) itself is always one of the funnest hours / hours and a half of wrestling a year.
In years past co-workers (and I) have done ‘Rumble Pools’, where you draw a random number and whichever wrestler comes out at that number, if he wins, you win. Since they started doing the women’s Rumble match itself, we’ve also included it, so you get two chances (20$). I picked Thursday for my Rumble spots…. and I got: #7 for the Women’s Rumble….. and then…. #7 for the Men’s Rumble. Crazy, that out of 30 possibilities, I managed to get both number 7s in each Rumble (30 possible x 30 possible).
So let’s go #7! Coincidentally, thats also the line they are giving in the Chiefs / Bengals AFC Championship game on Sunday (Chiefs are a 7 point favorite). So maybe 7 will be my number this weekend when Bengals subvert expectations on Sunday and win by 7… and both the men’s and the women’s 7th entry win their Rumbles tonight… …maybe. (No wrestler has ever won the Rumble at the 7th spot.)
We are nearing the pre-show (started writing this review at 5:15PM, whilst doing chores, and after I finished my dog walk with Leela – and holy crap was that cold – and workout, and by the time I get this done, it will most likely be going on 7PM), so, I’ll give my predictions while we’re at it. The Royal Rumble (2022) card (as per Wikipedia):
| 1 | Men’s Royal Rumble Match | 30-man Royal Rumble Match for a world championship match at WrestleMania 38[16] | – |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2 | Women’s Royal Rumble Match | 30-woman Royal Rumble Match for a women’s championship match at WrestleMania 38[17] | – |
| 3 | Brock Lesnar (c) (with Paul Heyman) vs. Bobby Lashley (with MVP) | Singles match for the WWE Championship[18] | – |
| 4 | Becky Lynch (c) vs. Doudrop | Singles match for the WWE Raw Women’s Championship[19] | – |
| 5 | Edge and Beth Phoenix vs. The Miz and Maryse | Mixed tag team match[20] | – |
| 6 | Roman Reigns (c) vs. Seth “Freakin” Rollins | Singles match for the WWE Universal Championship[21] The Usos (Jey Uso and Jimmy Uso) are barred from ringside. |
My Predictions
My predictions for this card:
- Reigns over Rollins
- Miz and Maryse over Edge and Beth Phoenix
- Lynch over Doudrop
- Bobby Lashley over Brock Lesnar
- Ronda Rousey returning and winning the Women’s Royal Rumble
- Brock Lesnar being a surprise entrant (or taking the place of someone else) and winning the Men’s Royal Rumble
We’ll see in just a few hours how close I am to these predictions!
Funk Brewing yesterday posted a great video on their TikTok and Facebook acounts. (Tried to embed it, but it didn’t seem to want to work for me due to being a Facebook video rather than a YouTube video, but if you click the link it will take you to the video, its all of 23 seconds, and then you can pop right back over here.) Watch the video here: Funk Brewing Company – Royal Rumble – And That’s the Bottom Line.
Wrasslin
I’ve covered good ol’ fashioned ‘wrasslin’ a few times here on the blog. First with the Stone Cold IPA and then with Couch Brewery‘s Macho Man beer. Also did the March Madness from 2021 in a wrestling format.
I loved watching the old WWF growing up, and ECW, and WCW, and then got into all of the various independent promotions over the years (especially ROH Wrestling), (original) NWA:TNA, CZW, IWA:MS, XPW, PWG, Chikara, ECCW, as well as the Japanese Puroresu (プロレス) (NJPW, AJPW, NOAH, etc.) and the Mexican Lucha Libre (AAA) as well as everything else in between (shoot videos, tape trading, etc.). So its definitely always been a joy, even as I’ve gotten older and it became much more of a backburner type thing (behind all of my thousands of other hobbies – nerdy ones like Star Wars, 40K, books, board games, card games – and less nerdy ones like fantasy sports, hiking, etc.), as well as just the responsibilities of getting older and having kids and jobs and life itself.
But its fun to get to dive back into it now and again, like today and get to review a beer about it. Which, at this point I’m sure you are all sick of my rambling and just want to get to the rumbling… of the beer review that is!
Beer Review
Beer: Royal Rumble
Brewery: Funk Brewing
Style: Porter – Baltic
ABV: 8.2%
IBU: None
Untappd Description: (Blank)
Funk Brewing Company is a microbrewery from Emmaus Pennsylvania. They also have a taproom in Elizabethtown, PA. According to Untappd they have 500 unique beers with over 236,000 ratings, and a global average rating of 3.85 (as of 1.29.22).
Lets start with the look of this bad boy. Big frothy foamy head with individual bubbles of varying sizes. Jet black…. like Razor Ramone’s hair. A full looking bodied drink, stout and deep and heavy like a big burly man in his underwear about to throw you around a ring.
Aroma is slightly smokey / smoked, with what I would characterize as a ‘bitter’ aroma. Thats not probably on any BJCP judge form or anything, but almost like a sense of it before actually drinking it, kind of like looking at a really black coffee and sniffing it, you have a strong sense that its just got some bitterness to it. Some caramel notes in a deep whiff.
Slammed to the mat, thrown across the ring, and tossed right over the top rope! All in the first sip? Nah, not really, I luckily grabbed onto the rope and pulled myself back in, skinning the cat to get back in. Superkicked by Shawn Michaels afterwards…. Five Star Frog Splashed by RVD…. and still in this boys! Ok… back to reality…. This is a good porter. Not a blow you out of the ring or blow you out of the WWE Universe porter, but its a good porter. Its smooth, its dark, its got some roasty, some caramel, some bitterness, some flavors, but its just not quite as complex as I was hoping, just not quite as full bodied as The Big Show. Its certainly no Spike Dudley or Rey Mysterio (in size) either, but its …lacking a little bit of more OOMPH to put it over the top. I would gladly drink it again. Its a great beer, its just not a blow you away beer. And there’s nothing really outright wrong with that. Its not watery or paper thin, but its not got a real deep mouthfeel or flavor to it. The flavors of roasted malt, caramel malt, with a tinge of smokey bitterness, is all there, but just not quite as strong as I’d like. Maybe its going from can to glass, maybe its just my expectations (with a name like Royal Rumble eliciting thoughts of huge muscular bonecrushing men pummeling each other), or what, it just doesn’t quite reach the full flavor spectrum. There is nothing wrong with the beer – no off flavors, no bad aftertaste, no cloyingness, nothing that makes you not outright enjoy it, just not as deep and complex and rich as I was hoping for.
My Untappd Rating: ***.75
Global Average Untappd Rating: 3.87 (as of 1.29.22)
Finished Just in the Nick of Time
And like that, I skinned the cat, and pulled myself back into the ring… to get this article done at 6:57PM, just before the show kicks off at 7:00PM on Peacock. What perfect timing! Ok, while I quickly upload this to the social medias and the universe, you can scroll down to check out all of the other nerd culture beers we have reviewed, and I’ll catch you guys later!
Nerd and Popular Culture Beer Reviews
Star Wars:
- Beer Review: The Pandalorian (Tattered Flag)
- Beer Review: Wookie Monster (Fourscore Beer Co)
- Beer Review: Out of Order: Blue Milk (RAR Brewing)
- Beer Review: Out of Order: Tatooine Tart (RAR Brewing)
- Beer Review: Out of Order: RAWRGWAWGGR (RAR Brewing)
- Revenge of the Fifth / Cinco de Mayo
- May the Fourth Be With You
- Beer Review: This is Nut the Fluff You’re Looking For (Fourscore Beer Co)
- Beer Review: This is the Way (Broken Goblet Brewing)
- Beer Review: This is the Whey (Bolero Snort Brewery)
- Beer Review: Java the Stout (Jackie O’s Brewery)
- Beer Review: The Mangolorian (Brewery Fire)
- Beer Review: BoBull Fett (Bolero Snort Brewery)
- Mead Review: The Meadalorian (Space Time Mead and Cider Works)
- Beer Review: Let the Haze Flow Through You (Black Flag Brewing Co)
- Book Review: The Jedi Path and The Book of the Sith (Daniel Wallace)
- Book Review: Guardians of the Whills (Greg Rucka)
Rick and Morty:
Space Balls:
Game of Thrones:
The Simpsons:
- Beer Review: I Voted for Kodos (Second Sin Brewing Company)
- Beer Review: I Voted for Kang (Second Sin Brewing Company)
Back to the Future:
Scrooged:
A Christmas Story:
- Beer Review: The Soft Electric Glow of Sex (RAR Brewing)
- Beer Review: You’ll Shoot Your Eye Out! (Eight and Sand Beer Co)
Pro Wrestling:
- Beer Review: Broken Skull – Stone Cold Steve Austin’s IPA (El Segundo Brewing Company)
- Beer Review: Macho Man (Couch Brewery)
- Beer Review: Royal Rumble (Funk Brewing)
Matrix:
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:
Seinfeld:
- Beer Review: Jon Voight’s Car (RAR Brewing)
- Beer Review: Airing of Grievances (Black Flag Brewing Company)
Other:
- Beer Review: Super Villain (Urban Village Brewing Company)
- Beer Review: Pixels (Seminar Brewing)
- Beer Review: Villeinage (Elder Pine Brewing and Blending)
- Beer Review: Intergalactic Deals (Levante Brewing)
- Beer Review: Galactic Space Circus (Creature Comforts Brewing Co)
Thanks For Reading
As always everyone, thanks for reading. Try and stay warm (my phone currently says its 18 degrees with a real feel of 4). And make sure to root on the Bengals tomorrow to beat the Chiefs! Have a great weekend everyone! (And lets go #7 and #7 in the Royal Rumbles tonight!)
Cheers!
-B. Kline
As always, thank you everyone for reading! Leave your likes, comments, suggestions, questions, etc, in the comments section. Or use the Feedback – Contact Us – page, and we’ll get right back to you!
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