LEEEEEEEEEEETSSSSSSS GEEEEEEEEEEEEET READY TOOOOO RUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMBLE!!!!!!!

Ok, its that time of the year, when its one of the few WWE PPVs I check in for anymore (its basically this and WrestleMania). WrestleMania is a definite watch for me, but the Royal Rumble match(es) itself is always one of the funnest hours / hours and a half of wrestling a year.

In years past co-workers (and I) have done ‘Rumble Pools’, where you draw a random number and whichever wrestler comes out at that number, if he wins, you win. Since they started doing the women’s Rumble match itself, we’ve also included it, so you get two chances (20$). I picked Thursday for my Rumble spots…. and I got: #7 for the Women’s Rumble….. and then…. #7 for the Men’s Rumble. Crazy, that out of 30 possibilities, I managed to get both number 7s in each Rumble (30 possible x 30 possible).

So let’s go #7! Coincidentally, thats also the line they are giving in the Chiefs / Bengals AFC Championship game on Sunday (Chiefs are a 7 point favorite). So maybe 7 will be my number this weekend when Bengals subvert expectations on Sunday and win by 7… and both the men’s and the women’s 7th entry win their Rumbles tonight… …maybe. (No wrestler has ever won the Rumble at the 7th spot.)

We are nearing the pre-show (started writing this review at 5:15PM, whilst doing chores, and after I finished my dog walk with Leela – and holy crap was that cold – and workout, and by the time I get this done, it will most likely be going on 7PM), so, I’ll give my predictions while we’re at it. The Royal Rumble (2022) card (as per Wikipedia):

My Predictions

My predictions for this card:

• Reigns over Rollins
• Miz and Maryse over Edge and Beth Phoenix
• Lynch over Doudrop
• Bobby Lashley over Brock Lesnar
• Ronda Rousey returning and winning the Women’s Royal Rumble
• Brock Lesnar being a surprise entrant (or taking the place of someone else) and winning the Men’s Royal Rumble

We’ll see in just a few hours how close I am to these predictions!

Funk Brewing yesterday posted a great video on their TikTok and Facebook acounts. (Tried to embed it, but it didn’t seem to want to work for me due to being a Facebook video rather than a YouTube video, but if you click the link it will take you to the video, its all of 23 seconds, and then you can pop right back over here.) Watch the video here: Funk Brewing Company – Royal Rumble – And That’s the Bottom Line.

Wrasslin

I’ve covered good ol’ fashioned ‘wrasslin’ a few times here on the blog. First with the Stone Cold IPA and then with Couch Brewery‘s Macho Man beer. Also did the March Madness from 2021 in a wrestling format.

I loved watching the old WWF growing up, and ECW, and WCW, and then got into all of the various independent promotions over the years (especially ROH Wrestling), (original) NWA:TNA, CZW, IWA:MS, XPW, PWG, Chikara, ECCW, as well as the Japanese Puroresu (プロレス) (NJPW, AJPW, NOAH, etc.) and the Mexican Lucha Libre (AAA) as well as everything else in between (shoot videos, tape trading, etc.). So its definitely always been a joy, even as I’ve gotten older and it became much more of a backburner type thing (behind all of my thousands of other hobbies – nerdy ones like Star Wars, 40K, books, board games, card games – and less nerdy ones like fantasy sports, hiking, etc.), as well as just the responsibilities of getting older and having kids and jobs and life itself.

But its fun to get to dive back into it now and again, like today and get to review a beer about it. Which, at this point I’m sure you are all sick of my rambling and just want to get to the rumbling… of the beer review that is!

Beer Review

Beer: Royal Rumble
Brewery: Funk Brewing
Style: Porter – Baltic
ABV: 8.2%
IBU: None
Untappd Description: (Blank)

Funk Brewing Company is a microbrewery from Emmaus Pennsylvania. They also have a taproom in Elizabethtown, PA. According to Untappd they have 500 unique beers with over 236,000 ratings, and a global average rating of 3.85 (as of 1.29.22).

Lets start with the look of this bad boy. Big frothy foamy head with individual bubbles of varying sizes. Jet black…. like Razor Ramone’s hair. A full looking bodied drink, stout and deep and heavy like a big burly man in his underwear about to throw you around a ring.

Aroma is slightly smokey / smoked, with what I would characterize as a ‘bitter’ aroma. Thats not probably on any BJCP judge form or anything, but almost like a sense of it before actually drinking it, kind of like looking at a really black coffee and sniffing it, you have a strong sense that its just got some bitterness to it. Some caramel notes in a deep whiff.

Slammed to the mat, thrown across the ring, and tossed right over the top rope! All in the first sip? Nah, not really, I luckily grabbed onto the rope and pulled myself back in, skinning the cat to get back in. Superkicked by Shawn Michaels afterwards…. Five Star Frog Splashed by RVD…. and still in this boys! Ok… back to reality…. This is a good porter. Not a blow you out of the ring or blow you out of the WWE Universe porter, but its a good porter. Its smooth, its dark, its got some roasty, some caramel, some bitterness, some flavors, but its just not quite as complex as I was hoping, just not quite as full bodied as The Big Show. Its certainly no Spike Dudley or Rey Mysterio (in size) either, but its …lacking a little bit of more OOMPH to put it over the top. I would gladly drink it again. Its a great beer, its just not a blow you away beer. And there’s nothing really outright wrong with that. Its not watery or paper thin, but its not got a real deep mouthfeel or flavor to it. The flavors of roasted malt, caramel malt, with a tinge of smokey bitterness, is all there, but just not quite as strong as I’d like. Maybe its going from can to glass, maybe its just my expectations (with a name like Royal Rumble eliciting thoughts of huge muscular bonecrushing men pummeling each other), or what, it just doesn’t quite reach the full flavor spectrum. There is nothing wrong with the beer – no off flavors, no bad aftertaste, no cloyingness, nothing that makes you not outright enjoy it, just not as deep and complex and rich as I was hoping for.

My Untappd Rating: ***.75
Global Average Untappd Rating: 3.87 (as of 1.29.22)

Finished Just in the Nick of Time

And like that, I skinned the cat, and pulled myself back into the ring… to get this article done at 6:57PM, just before the show kicks off at 7:00PM on Peacock. What perfect timing! Ok, while I quickly upload this to the social medias and the universe, you can scroll down to check out all of the other nerd culture beers we have reviewed, and I’ll catch you guys later!

Nerd and Popular Culture Beer Reviews

Star Wars:

• Beer Review: The Pandalorian (Tattered Flag)
• Beer Review: Wookie Monster (Fourscore Beer Co)
• Beer Review: Out of Order: Blue Milk (RAR Brewing)
• Beer Review: Out of Order: Tatooine Tart (RAR Brewing)
• Beer Review: Out of Order: RAWRGWAWGGR (RAR Brewing)
• Revenge of the Fifth / Cinco de Mayo
• May the Fourth Be With You
• Beer Review: This is Nut the Fluff You’re Looking For (Fourscore Beer Co)
• Beer Review: This is the Way (Broken Goblet Brewing)
• Beer Review: This is the Whey (Bolero Snort Brewery)
• Beer Review: Java the Stout (Jackie O’s Brewery)
• Beer Review: The Mangolorian (Brewery Fire)
• Beer Review: BoBull Fett (Bolero Snort Brewery)
• Mead Review: The Meadalorian (Space Time Mead and Cider Works)
• Beer Review: Let the Haze Flow Through You (Black Flag Brewing Co)
• Book Review: The Jedi Path and The Book of the Sith (Daniel Wallace)
• Book Review: Guardians of the Whills (Greg Rucka)

Rick and Morty:

• Beer Review: Peace Among Worlds (Cushwa Brewing Company)

Space Balls:

• Beer Review: Moon of Vega (Equilibrium Brewery)

Game of Thrones:

• Beer Review: Game of Thrones: My Watch Has Ended (Omnegang Brewery)

The Simpsons:

• Beer Review: I Voted for Kodos (Second Sin Brewing Company)
• Beer Review: I Voted for Kang (Second Sin Brewing Company)

Back to the Future:

• Beer Review: Back to Reality (Three 3s Brewing Co)

Scrooged:

• Beer Review: Scrooge IPA (Iron Hill Brewing)

A Christmas Story:

• Beer Review: The Soft Electric Glow of Sex (RAR Brewing)
• Beer Review: You’ll Shoot Your Eye Out! (Eight and Sand Beer Co)

Pro Wrestling:

• Beer Review: Broken Skull – Stone Cold Steve Austin’s IPA (El Segundo Brewing Company)
• Beer Review: Macho Man (Couch Brewery)
• Beer Review: Royal Rumble (Funk Brewing)

Matrix:

• Matrix Monday

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:

• Beer Review: Terpenes in Time (BAREBottle Brewing Co)

Seinfeld:

• Beer Review: Jon Voight’s Car (RAR Brewing)
• Beer Review: Airing of Grievances (Black Flag Brewing Company)

Other:

• Beer Review: Super Villain (Urban Village Brewing Company)
• Beer Review: Pixels (Seminar Brewing)
• Beer Review: Villeinage (Elder Pine Brewing and Blending)
• Beer Review: Intergalactic Deals (Levante Brewing)
• Beer Review: Galactic Space Circus (Creature Comforts Brewing Co)

Thanks For Reading

As always everyone, thanks for reading. Try and stay warm (my phone currently says its 18 degrees with a real feel of 4). And make sure to root on the Bengals tomorrow to beat the Chiefs! Have a great weekend everyone! (And lets go #7 and #7 in the Royal Rumbles tonight!)

Cheers!

-B. Kline

As always, thank you everyone for reading! Leave your likes, comments, suggestions, questions, etc, in the comments section. Or use the Feedback – Contact Us – page, and we’ll get right back to you!

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As soon as I saw that Breski’s had the Stone Cold beer…. I was grabbing the keys and jumping in the car for the drive over. I picked up a four-pack of this, as well as a four-pack of the FVCK COVID beer which I did a beer review of previously. This is another one of those beers that falls into the category of ‘got it because of marketing’ over got it because of what hops are in it, or flavors, or adjuncts, or knowing the brewery’s reputation, etc. Like some bad beers I’ve had, like Trial by Wombat, or Jon Voight’s Car, where I got them because of can art or name of the beer – I got this because its the Stone Cold beer.

Early 2000s, high school me was a huge wrestling fan. We watched each RAW, each SmackDown, even the minor shows like Heat, Velocity, Metal, etc. We also watched TNA when they started up with the Wednesday PPVs and their Impact show. We watched WCW at its tail end when it ended and WWF bought them out in 2001. We were big fans of ROH as well, me and D. Scott were at Final Battle 2004. D. Scott, R. Dibeler, and myself have been to a couple of shows, the more notable ones being WWE Unforgiven 2003 and WWE Royal Rumble 2004. Stone Cold was one of our favorites, mine in particular, along with (sad to say now due to everything that’s happened – but – Chris Benoit), Taz, RVD, Chris Jericho, Eddie Guerrero, (Rory’s favorite was always Kane) – and that’s just listing the WWF/E wrestlers. Not getting into the indies or puroresu or lucha libre and stuff.

And this might surprise some…. but Stone Cold Steve Austin knows a little bit about drinking…..

Maybe…. just a little.

So what better beer to do a review of on National IPA day than the Stone Cold Steve Austin IPA beer?!

Beer: Broken Skull
Brewery: El Segundo Brewing Company
Style: IPA – American
ABV: 6.7%
IBU: 67
Untappd Description: Broken Skull IPA: A bad-ass 6.7% India Pale Ale designed by Steve Austin and ESBC for the working man & woman. It features Citra, Cascade, and Chinook hops to deliver big flavor with an easy finish. Now stop reading and start enjoying this awesome beer! Cheers! -Steve

According to their Untappd page, El Segundo Brewing Company (ESBC) is from El Segundo California, United States, and is a micro brewery. (I honestly thought they were from Texas, not California, so I learned something new by clicking their Untappd page.) They have 286 unique beers for a 3.87 global average rating (as of 8.6.20). Their Untappd Description reads: “El Segundo Brewing Company is the product of founder, Rob Croxall’s love and passion for beers. More than anything, Rob has a knack for hoppy beers. Being a brewer, he decided leave his longtime career in aerospace financing to establish his own microbrewery. Rob invested in the Los Angeles area. El Segundo Brewing Company specializes in hops that provide outstanding and unique bitter flavors of beers. The brewery focuses on its personal dry hopping brewing method that produces fine aromas. Rob’s great love for hops has become the motivation behind the success of El Segundo Brewing Company today.”

Lets jump right into this review and tackle the beer itself. Appearance is a clear, bubbly pilsner / light West Coast looking IPA. Not very dark, not very malty, completely clear minus the bubbles (very well carbonated), this honestly looks like it could have been a pilsner, or lager, or a lite beer – Miller or Coors – when poured out. Big foamy head to it that just kept bubbling up.

Aroma is light hoppy, and not a whole lot more. Which is pretty typical for an IPA; especially American / West Coast style, etc. There’s no adjuncts, nothing added to it, no ‘milkshake’ or ‘New England’ – ness to it, its a straight legit IPA, in the old vein. The hop combination of citra, cascade, and chinook is pretty distinguishable. I grow cascade and chinook hops at home, and I can pick out their aromas pretty distinctly. Citra is also another easy to pick out hop aroma and flavor, mainly because its name is a pretty big indicator. There is no other real aromas to this, its just hops and ‘beer is beer’ smell. No malt, no sweetness; just the citrus, grassy, slight lemon, a little bit of pine, that comes from the combination of hops in this.

Flavor… and taste…. is where this falls a bit flat. And no, the beer itself isn’t flat…. its just, there’s not a whole lot here. Its actually pretty bland. Me and D. Scott decided it tasted like a ‘starter IPA’. Do you have a friend who you want to start drinking IPAs, and want to move them away from Miller Lite, Coors Lite, and Yuengling Lager? Then this is the beer for you! And being an easily marketable beer – “The Stone Cold beer!” or “The Stone Cold IPA” it should be an easy pitch for you to get your buddy to drink it. There just sadly isn’t a whole lot going on here flavor wise. Its not bad, there’s no off flavors, nothing tastes horrible, no lingering after taste thats bad…. its just underwhelming. Its watery, its a bit thin, it tastes like hops in water, and not a whole lot much of anything else going on. The hops don’t even come off as that strong and don’t give you a complete kick or gut-punch hop flavor either. The hops give off a slight, very light, citrus flavor, like a lemon peel in water kind of thing, there is a little bit of grassy and earth notes and just a wee bit of a pine / pinecone hop taste, but none of it is severe, or even strong. That isn’t to say this is a horrible beer and you won’t like it, its a perfectly accessible and perfectly fine beer, for 12$ (a little bit less I think, maybe a little over 12.10$ with tax) a four pack, this is a very fine, crushable even (only 6.7% ABV and the light flavor makes it go down easier) beer, that you and a buddy can kill an evening playing video games and drinking this. So in that way it makes for a perfect beer for Stone Cold Steve Austin…. and that’s the bottom line…………….. Because Stone Cold Said So!

Kick.

Stunner.

Ultimately though, my opinion of this, if given the choice between this and the many other options out there, might be closer to Stacy Keibler’s:

My Untappd Rating: ***.25
Global Untappd Rating: 3.84 (as of 8.6.20)

I want to think some of that rating bump is namesake and marketing, but maybe others genuinely loved it or at least liked it better than I did. I dunno, if you’ve had it, leave me a comment and let me know what your thoughts were on it. Maybe I’m way off base. Maybe the cans we got were different or off. I dunno, let me know, I’d love to hear from you guys!

As always, thanks for reading everyone. Check out our Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram pages, you can find the links for them at the top and bottom of each page. We’re almost up to 200 Twitter Followers, so please click the follow and like buttons on each of our social media accounts, it adds up and really helps!

Cheers!

-B. Kline

And that’s the bottom line…. because Stone Cold Said So! Austin 3:16 says I just opened a cap of whoop ass on you! WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?!

Oh…. I could go on all day doing this! Better stop and have another beer. Cheers all!

Happy National IPA Day!

-B. Kline